Saturday, 1 May 2010

Everything's broken

This last week has been one of those weeks.  Nothing important - just Technology doing its nut.  So much so that it's absurdly amusing.
  • The food processor broke - beyond repair.
  • The CD player died after a long illness.
  • The microwave acted as if it had been taken over by a poltergeist: the number 4 randomly beeping onto the display, sometimes in quick succession and sometimes with a few hours between.
  • The rechargeable batteries on the telephone gave up their ghost - during a phone call, of course.
  • Yesterday, my laptop had a memory leak and couldn't open the Word document I wanted without spitting the dummy.
  • Last night, at 2:27 am, one of the smoke alarms decided to go postal... until I ripped its guts out.
None of this stuff is essential.  Technology will turn me into a Luddite.
Tomorrow I will move into a cave, grind my own pigments and paint stories on the wall.

Here's Bob Dylan rehearsing Everything is Broken:


Jane Turley said...

Console yourself PB - when I had one of those weeks (okay it was a couple of months I think) it was the boiler, the washing machine, the cooker and the iron; over 4,000smackers - I was not a happy bunny to say the least!!!

Having said that; smoke alarms are probably the most irritating and I've yet to work out why they always go off in the night for no reason and happily stay silent whilst smoke is drifting from the kitchen.....Hmmm... the complexities of modern life; a cave does have some attractions - provided it has an ensuite:)

Paul said...


Mind, I'd have thought you'd see the loss of a cooker, a washing machine and an iron as endorsing the redundancy of cooking, washing and ironing - of domestic chores generally. They're losses to embrace, Mrs T.

But the absence of a boiler... in the middle of a British... winter, spring or autumn... now, that's something else.

Mike French said...

Fight back Paul - chuck the whole lot of a lorry and then run over them in a tractor and then blow up all that remains - you'll feel much better.

Paul said...

Mike: Lorry/truck wouldn't start because the battery was flat. Fired up the tractor but both tyres had punctures. Tried to light the fuse to blow the lot up in situ but the matches were damp. C'est la vie!